To Do or Not Do: Throw a divorce party
“My divorce was just final and I celebrated. Is that strange? Does it mean I didn’t love my partner?”
For today’s Feeling Seen question we enlisted non other than Feeling Seen family friend and expert relationship columnist. Malia:
First, let me congratulate you for allowing another chapter of your life to close while embracing a new season filled with infinite possibilities. I’m a firm believer in duality and the simple fact that two things can be true at the same time. Yes, it is possible to mourn a loss such as divorce while also celebrating a new chapter of your life. Is that strange? Absolutely not! Does it diminish the love, effort, time, and attention invested into your union? Not at all! Does that make you a human being who is aligned with the cyclical patterns of mother nature and understands that life is experienced in phases? Hell yes!
Divorce can sometimes be a complex and emotionally charged process. There is no manual or definitive list of emotions one MUST feel in order to solidify the experience as truth. Celebrating can be seen as a way of acknowledging the end of a difficult chapter in your life and embracing the potential for new beginnings and personal growth. It serves as a testament to the resilience of the human spirit in the face of a significant life change.
Everyone’s journey through relationships and breakups are unique. Feeling a sense of relief, peace, or even joy after a divorce simply reflects the complexity of human emotions and the unique experiences that we go through. No matter where you sit on the spectrum of post-divorce emotions, one thing will always remain true: now more than ever is the time to pour into self.
Divorce represents an agonizing but necessary life change that releases the weight your marriage has left on your shoulders while giving you the freedom to feel lighter again. Practicing self care during divorce will allow you to take that freedom one step further by creating a holistic healing experience. So, by all means, celebrate yourself, the divorce, and your new beginning. But also invest just as much time (if not more) into fully closing out this chapter emotionally, mentally, physically, and spiritually.
Here’s a list of self care activities to muse over while navigating life after divorce:
Do the things you love
Embracing the activities that bring you joy and fulfillment is paramount after a divorce. Whether it's painting, traveling, cooking, or dancing, immersing yourself in the things you love can provide a much-needed sense of purpose and rejuvenation during this transitional period.
Move your body
Engaging in regular physical activity not only promotes physical well being but also has a profound impact on your mental and emotional health. Whether it's a scenic walk in the park, yoga, or hitting the gym, moving your body can help release endorphins, reduce stress, and boost your overall mood, contributing to a stronger sense of self.
Switch up your routines
Breaking free from familiar routines can be liberating after a divorce. This doesn't mean a complete overhaul but rather introducing small, positive changes that can offer a fresh perspective and a renewed sense of independence. It could be as simple as trying a new morning ritual, exploring a different commute, or discovering new places or hobbies in your city.
Explore meditation and or breathwork exercises
Cultivating mindfulness through practices, such as meditation and breathwork can be transformative in the post-divorce healing process. These techniques can help you find inner peace, reduce anxiety, and develop a deeper understanding of self and your emotions. By exploring these modalities and sprinkling them into your routine, you create a sanctuary for self-reflection, emotional and spiritual growth, and universal enlightenment.
Know when to ask for help
Recognizing when you need support is a crucial aspect of post-divorce self care. Whether it is seeking advice from trusted friends and family, consulting a therapist or spiritual advisor, or joining a support group, acknowledging your vulnerability and seeking help when necessary is a sign of strength. To my avoidant souls who would rather chew glass than ask for help I repeat, acknowledging your vulnerability and seeking help when necessary is a sign of strength! Give yourself permission to surround yourself with a supportive community that can provide invaluable emotional and practical assistance during this sensitive time.
While there’s a million things under the sun that resonate with self care, it is important to prioritize activities that resonate with you. Invest your time and energy into activities that inspire you, lights up your soul, and always leaves your cup running over. You’ve been graced with extra free time, so I encourage you to explore how you can celebrate and honor yourself literally and holistically. It doesn't have to be one or the other because you deserve to experience both!
Malia is a tantric practitioner who teaches erotic embodiment and sensual alchemy to aid the collective in healing and reconnecting to their sacred sexuality. She believes that sexual energy is a powerful portal for healing and expansion of the mind, body, and soul, and has helped thousands of people reclaim their sensuality. Her passion, curiosity, and devotion to sexual liberation is the fuel and inspiration behind House of Healing and The Coochie Conjurer Collective, which serves as the safe space for sexual exploration that Malia herself has always needed. Her online presence can be found on Instagram, TikTok, YouTube, and Pinterest.
